Hermione Granger's guide to taking over the world
by Supersilver46
Summary: Hello, I am Hermione Granger, soon to be the ruler of this pitiful world! With my henchmen by my side, our organization will usurp the fools in power, and establish me as the one true emperor! I've written a log of my activities, that way you too can take over the world!
1. Chapter 1

_Day 1, I have successfully infiltrated the academy known as 'Hogwarts', it took a while, but I managed to pull it off somehow. But I suppose I should explain how I managed to successfully complete my assignment, you see it was an ordinary day when suddenly she appeared!_

"Hello Ms. Granger, my name is Professor McGonagall, may I come in?" Professor McGonagall asked the pale girl who had opened the door. "I'm here to tell you that you're a wizard."

 _I handled the situation flawlessly!_

"U-uh I-I don't want to buy what you're selling!" The girl shouted as she slammed the door shut, surprising the Professor. The Professor then saw the girl scramble upstairs, before she tripped and fell back down the stairs.

 _My parents (henchmen) calmly came down the stairs as I commanded them to come to my side._

"Hermione what happened?!" Hermione's father shouted as he and her mother ran down the stairs, "I heard you shouting from upstairs!"

Hermione shivered as she picked herself up from the ground and shivered.

"There's some saleswoman who wants to come inside!" Hermione shouted. "I think she wants to sell us some kind of drug!"

"...What?"

 _My henchmen decided to find out what she was up to, using the most complex interrogation techniques they had ever learned!_

"Hello there," Hermione's father said, "May I ask what you're doing here Ms...?"

"Mcgonagall," The Professor introduced herself to Hermione's father, she blinked as she saw the pale girl shaking behind her father, "I'm here to talk to your daughter, Mr. Granger."

Hermione's father was confused, "What do you need to talk to my daughter about?"

"You see I'm a Professor at an academy known as Hogwarts." Professor McGonagall explained, "You see your daughter is a wizard."

 _True to his training, my father henchman handled the situation just as he had been instructed to!_

"Really?" Hermione's father said skeptically, "Come back when you have a better excuse, I don't need another 'incident' to happen like last time."

"I suppose you'll need evidence?" Professor McGonagall said as she pulled out a wand, "I would be happy to oblige."

Professor Mcgonagall then transformed into a cat before their very eyes.

 _After the fool had foolishly shown off her abilities, my henchman moved onto the next phase of the plan!_

Hermione's father's eyes rolled to the back of his head, and Hermione moved out of the way as he collapsed onto the ground.

"Hm, I suppose I should have expected that to happen." Professor McGonagall said. She then turned to Hermione who was shaking like a leaf in the wind, "Are you alright Ms. Granger?"

 _Contrary to what she might tell you, I did not scream my lungs out and faint on the spot, anything she tells you is a lie! Anyway, after I had ascertained her true identity, I immediately began to plan out my strategy for avoiding her at all costs! No, it wasn't because I was nervous, it was due to the simple reason that I need my conquest of this planet to go off without a hitch, and to do that I need to gauge my opponents strengths!_

….

 _Day 2, Well it took a while, but I ended up finding myself in the midst of the wizarding culture. Diagon Alley was its name, and I made extra sure to take detailed notes during my experience with Professor McGonagall. As though they sensed my malevolent presence, the other wizards trembled before my might as they saw me in my ultimate armor!_

"Ms. Granger, if you jump at how everyone looks at you, we'll be here until sundown." Professor McGonagall said as Hermione pulled the hood she was wearing even further down to obscure her face. Hermione mumbled something that Professor McGonagall couldn't quite catch, and she turned around to face the girl.

"I'm sorry Ms. Granger, I didn't quite catch that," Professor McGonagall said, "What did you say?"

"I-I'm wearing a cloak of invisibility so it shouldn't be a problem," Hermione stuttered as she continued to walk forward, "No one can see me, and I can't see them."

"That doesn't seem to be the best cloak to wear." Professor McGonagall dryly said.

"It works better than you think." Hermione said before she walked straight into a wall. "Ow."

Professor McGonagall sighed.

 _Our first stop was to a bank run by goblins, which seems to be a stupid thing for wizards to do. Why would you trust a creature with your life savings that's known for hording as much money as it can, you'd never be able to tell if they were hiding a portion of your funds for themselves. On the other hand, they seem to have rather sharp teeth, which means they're perfect soldiers for me to use during my conquest!_

"Are you going to shake like that for the entire day, or are you going to get your money?" The goblin said as it tapped its fingers against its desk. "Hurry up already, there are people waiting in line you know."

"Y-you don't have to rush me!" Hermione shouted as she internally counted the money she would need for her school supplies.

 _I also learned about the Hero of the wizarding world... by reading an interesting book that revealed all of his secrets._

 _ **"Halt villain!" Harry Potter spoke with tremendous force as he leapt off from his majestic steed. His Phoenix, Death, was perched on his shoulder as he looked at the evil He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and his right hand man, Luticus Mallaroy, "This will not be the day you escape once again!"**_

 _ **"Potter!" He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named let out a hiss as he sat on his horse that was as dark as the very pits of his depraved soul. "You will not be able to defeat me, for you are alone while I have my allies."**_

 _ **He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named hissed to his snake that was wrapped around his neck and it began to move to the vulnerable potter. As it leapt forward it's powerful jaws ripped Potter's shirt from his body, exposing his chiseled perfect abs for the world to see."Egads!" Harry cried out as he backed away from the snake, "That almost killed me!"**_

 _ **"Sir Potter!" A voice called out into the void, and soon a majestic white horse with golden locks soon galloped into view and the man on the horse back flipped off and landed next to Harry. "I have arrived to help you save the day." Sir Lionheart was a dashing young man who would always be there to save the day with his best friend Harry Potter.**_

 _ **"It matters not who you bring along with you Potter!" He-Who-must-Not-Be-Name shouted, and waved his wand as he shouted the dreaded death spell, "Avada Kedavra!"**_

 _ **"No!" Sir Lionheart jumped in front of Harry and took the spell to the chest.**_

 _ **"Sir Lionheart, No!" Harry cried out as his friend was hit by the spell. Harry knelt by his friends side as Sir Lionheart breathed his last after saying, "Sir Harry...I lov-ugh." Tears pooled in Harry's eyes as he shook his friends shoulders, "Sir Lionheart, Sir Lionheart don't leave me!" He cried. He then looked up to the sky and screamed his lungs out, "SIR LIONHEEEAAAARRRRTTTT!"**_

 _ **What happens next dear readers? Read next week's book, Harry Potter and the End of an Era!**_

"Ms. Granger I hope you know we're looking for your school books, not...those kinds of books." Professor McGonagall said as she stared at the cover of the book Hermione had brought her.

 _And then I got my wand from a very...unique individual_

"A challenge!" Ollivander, the owner of the wand shop , shouted as he frantically tried to get Hermione a wand, "Hold still while I find the perfect one for you!"

"Professor..." Hermione said as she looked at the creepy old man who gave her weird looks, "I don't really like it here can we please leave?"

"Nonsense, you need a wand, and I'm sure he's just being...helpful." Professor McGonagall said.

 _Oh well, I'll have to kill him once I take over, I suppose this is enough for now..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Day 2, Well it took a while, but I ended up finding myself in the midst of the wizarding culture. Diagon Alley was its name, and I made extra sure to take detailed notes during my experience with Professor McGonagall. As though they sensed my malevolent presence, the other wizards trembled before my might as they saw me in my ultimate armor!_

 _"Ms. Granger, if you jump at how everyone looks at you, we'll be here until sundown." Professor McGonagall said as Hermione pulled the hood she was wearing even further down to obscure her face. Hermione mumbled something that Professor McGonagall couldn't quite catch, and she turned around to face the girl._

 _"I'm sorry Ms. Granger, I didn't quite catch that," Professor McGonagall said, "What did you say?"_

 _"I-I'm wearing a cloak of invisibility so it shouldn't be a problem," Hermione stuttered as she continued to walk forward, "No one can see me, and I can't see them."_

 _"That doesn't seem to be the best cloak to wear." Professor McGonagall dryly said._

 _"It works better than you think." Hermione said before she walked straight into a wall. "Ow."_

 _Professor McGonagall sighed._

 _Our first stop was to a bank run by goblins, which seems to be a stupid thing for wizards to do. Why would you trust a creature with your life savings that's known for hording as much money as it can, you'd never be able to tell if they were hiding a portion of your funds for themselves. On the other hand, they seem to have rather sharp teeth, which means they're perfect soldiers for me to use during my conquest!_

 _"Are you going to shake like that for the entire day, or are you going to get your money?" The goblin said as it tapped its fingers against its desk. "Hurry up already, there are people waiting in line you know."_

 _"Y-you don't have to rush me!" Hermione shouted as she internally counted the money she would need for her school supplies._

 _I also learned about the Hero of the wizarding world... by reading an interesting book that revealed all of his secrets._

 _"Halt villain!" Harry Potter spoke with tremendous force as he leapt off from his majestic steed. His Phoenix, Death, was perched on his shoulder as he looked at the evil He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and his right hand man, Luticus Mallaroy, "This will not be the day you escape once again!"_

 _"Potter!" He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named let out a hiss as he sat on his horse that was as dark as the very pits of his depraved soul. "You will not be able to defeat me, for you are alone while I have my allies."_

 _He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named hissed to his snake that was wrapped around his neck and it began to move to the vulnerable potter. As it leapt forward it's powerful jaws ripped Potter's shirt from his body, exposing his chiseled perfect abs for the world to see."Egads!" Harry cried out as he backed away from the snake, "That almost killed me!"_

 _"Sir Potter!" A voice called out into the void, and soon a majestic white horse with golden locks soon galloped into view and the man on the horse back flipped off and landed next to Harry. "I have arrived to help you save the day." Sir Lionheart was a dashing young man who would always be there to save the day with his best friend Harry Potter._

 _"It matters not who you bring along with you Potter!" He-Who-must-Not-Be-Name shouted, and waved his wand as he shouted the dreaded death spell, "Avada Kedavra!"_

 _"No!" Sir Lionheart jumped in front of Harry and took the spell to the chest._

 _"Sir Lionheart, No!" Harry cried out as his friend was hit by the spell. Harry knelt by his friends side as Sir Lionheart breathed his last after saying, "Sir Harry...I lov-ugh." Tears pooled in Harry's eyes as he shook his friends shoulders, "Sir Lionheart, Sir Lionheart don't leave me!" He cried. He then looked up to the sky and screamed his lungs out, "SIR LIONHEEEAAAARRRRTTTT!"_

 _What happens next dear readers? Read next week's book, Harry Potter and the End of an Era!_

 _"Ms. Granger I hope you know we're looking for your school books, not...those kinds of books." Professor McGonagall said as she stared at the cover of the book Hermione had brought her._

 _And then I got my wand from a very...unique individual_

 _"A challenge!" Ollivander, the owner of the wand shop , shouted as he frantically tried to get Hermione a wand, "Hold still while I find the perfect one for you!"_

 _"Professor..." Hermione said as she looked at the creepy old man who gave her weird looks, "I don't really like it here can we please leave?"_

 _"Nonsense, you need a wand, and I'm sure he's just being...helpful." Professor McGonagall said._

 _Oh well, I'll have to kill him once I take over, I suppose this is enough for now..._

_Day 3, I have successfully managed to obtain another minion to my cause! His name is-_

"H-Hello, my name is Neville Longbottom," Neville stuttered as he offered his hand to Hermione, "I was wondering if you had seen a toad recently?"

"U-uh, I-I h-haven't really seen one…" Hermione said as she looked down and twiddled with her thumbs, "I-I'm sorry."

"O-oh, well thank you anyway," Neville said as he turned to leave.

 _At first, he resisted my evil aura, but through subtle manipulations I managed to sway him to my side._

"W-Wait!" Hermione shouted.

"H-huh?" Neville whirled around and looked at Hermione, whose face was flushing red.

"U-Um, I-I want to help," Hermione said. "I-I'd feel bad if I didn't help…"

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Neville said, "It's fine, I can look for him myself."

Hermione shook her head, "No I'll help you Neville," she said, "I w-want to help, so you c-can't really change my mind."

"Well, okay then." Neville said, a smile formed on his face, "I guess I could use the extra help."

 _After that, the two of us went from cabin to cabin, trying to find his toad. No doubt it's an evil magical frog capable of destructive magic potential, this was my main reason for helping my new henchman. As soon as I showed a few brief signs of weakness, he was like putty in my hands! Then we ran into my mortal enemy, Percy Weasley!_

"Yes? What do you need?" Percy said as he tapped his foot, "Please make it quick, I have many things to do."

"W-we were wondering if you s-saw a toad?" Hermione asked as she looked at the ground, "We've been searching for a while, but we couldn't find him."

"No, I haven't seen a toad." Percy frowned, "You should have told a perfect earlier, if you had we might've been able to find it easily."

"O-oh w-well…"

Hermione didn't want to mention that she hadn't thought about finding a perfect, it just slipped her mind. And the look on Percy's face made her feel as though she was being graded on her performance, which made her feel worse.

"T-thank you for your help anyway." Hermione said as she left the room with Neville in a hurry.

 _After that brief_ humiliation, I planned on retaliating as soon as I was able to competently perform magic. Which at this moment, I am ashamed to admit that I can't perform the most basic of spells yet, reading a book doesn't exactly prepare you for doing the real thing. My henchmen found this out the hard way when I set their hair on fire during one of our practice sessions, luckily, they survived, but now they're in the hospital and the bills are _definitely_ going _to pile up. I most likely won't get enough money to build the death laser I had been working on..._

 _Anyway, soon we came upon another cabin that contained an._.. unpleasant individual. He seemed to be enraged by mere presence after I told him I wasn't a pureblood. He'd gone on a rant about how my blood was muddy for some reason, which had enraged my new henchman. I wasn't sure what the insult meant, but my henchman informed me that it was a 'bad' word, so I dropped it from there. After all morons who result to petty insults aren't worth my time.

 _...And_ no, I did not cry, I wouldn't give that weasel the benefit of seeing me cry...though I may have let out a little sniffle from here and there. Eventually my henchman and I stumbled across the cabin that held the presence of the second greatest hero I had known, Harry Potter. I played the situation as naturally as can be in order to gauge his defenses.

"E-excuse me, Mr. Potter, but is the person sitting next to you Sir Lionheart?" Hermione asked.

"...Who?"

 _It was just my luck that Sir Lionheart wasn't there, otherwise he would have seen through my clever ruse. Instead, a boy named Ron Weasley (_ undoubtedly, he's related to my mortal enemy), who seemed to be the brawn between the two. I say this because he used a spell that doesn't even exist to try and turn his rat yellow, I corrected him, and the fool soon grew angry at me. Is this just a trait of the Weasley family, to be as annoying as possible?

 _Eventually, we reached Hogwarts, and after getting on a_ boat we were taken to Hogwarts on a death-defying ride.

"Hermione are you okay?" Neville asked a pale Hermione who was gripping on his arm tightly as she stared at the water.

"This boat isn't going to tip over, is it?" Hermione said, partly to herself, "They wouldn't put us in a rickety boat that could sink at any time, right?"

Suddenly the boat shifted, and Hermione squeaked before gripping Neville's arm even tighter.

"H-Hermione, you're crushing my arm..."

 _Once we got into the castle_ , Professor Dumbledore greeted us before the sorting began. Once my name was called up I gracefully-

Hermione tripped as she made her way to the hat.

 _GRACEFULLY, made my way over to the hat and was sorted into Gryffindor after I threatened to burn the hat and_ its family (note to self, see if magic hats can actually reproduce) I knew the Boy-Who-Lived would be sorted into Hogwarts, so Gryffindor was the best place for me to go in order to get close to him and use his influence to take over the world.

"Slytherin!" The sorting hat shouted as Harry's face soon became pale. The room had suddenly gotten very quiet, and Professor Snape choked as he stared at Hary. Strangely though Professor Quirrell soon leapt to his feet and began to cheer for him.

"Hooray for Mr. Potter!" Professor Quirrell shouted, "Let's give him a round of applause everyone!"

 _Actually,_ I _think I may have made a minor mistake somewhere along the way, but not to fear I'm sure that everything will work out in the end...somehow._


End file.
